Posts Tagged ‘Celebrate Family’

A Positive Attitude Can Change Your Stars

Friday, June 12th, 2009

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!  Violence, crime, a failing economy, stRESS, STRESS, STRESS!!  It’s everywhere!  What can we do so that our level of stress does not break us, or our families apart?  A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!  You heard right, a positive attitude!  Sure, it won’t fix anything immediately and sometimes it won’t fix the immediate stressor ever!  So why have one?  HAPPINESS!  Because we all want to be happy – no matter what.  When you are faced with uncertainty, challenge or pain whether physical, emotional or both, it doesn’t mean you have to be spiritually depressed to the point you can’t function!  Or worse, you exaggerate the situation you’re in  by making everyone around you miserable by constantly rehearsing all the bad things that have happened and constantly rehearsing the, ‘why I can’ts’ instead of the, ‘how I cans.’ 

Positive forward motion requires positive forward thinking.  Simply put, all action begins with a thought.  Therefore, if you spend all of your valuable time thinking about negative outcomes, THAT is exactly what you are going to get – a negative outcome.    I don’t mean to downplay what you might be going through at the moment.  I am suggesting, however, that you will do your best work, come up with your best game plan if you are approaching whatever situation you are in with a positive attitude!  True happiness given any situation is a choice.  It begins with your attitude. Sometimes we have to close our eyes and see things how they can be, rather than how they really are to gain enough positive energy to get through it.

Relationships with Adult Children

Monday, June 8th, 2009

It seems that just as you become an expert ‘baby’ Mom, that baby turns into a toddler! Then…..you turn your back and poof!  TEENAGER!  If you survive that, and you will, you turn around and your children are grown with families of their own.  Relationships with your adult children can be the most challenging of all – yet, the most rewarding.  Your children suddenly realize that you are NOT perfect and that you don’t have all of the answers (if they haven’t already figured that out).  To complicate matters and without much discussion, they marry complete strangers that you they expect you to welcome and love with open arms – no matter what!

How do you keep communication open, even during difficult times?   Remember the old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?”  These are golden words of wisdom that will save you from wounding those you love – especially when it comes to your adult children and their spouses.  Follow that up with complete acceptance and love without judgement.  When difficult things happen, refuse to get upset or become offended.   Yes, it will be difficult.  And, it will take practice and time, but it works!  It allows you to step back from any situation and evaluate it with less emotion and more objectivity.

Spiritual Training in the Home

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

Spiritual training is probably THE most important training that should be done in the home!  When your children are out and about everyday, the only thing they will take with them into difficult situations – or, even the good ones, is what is inside their hearts.  If you have not provided that training, they will find it somewhere else!  I can almost guarantee that when they do find that something else, it almost never coincides with what you believe!  

So, today is Sunday…it doesn’t matter what religion you belong to or not.  This day is universally recognized as a ’spiritual’ relaxation day.  So no matter what day your spiritual relaxation day is, on that day, practice whatever it is you believe.  Practice it so your children can see you practicing it. More importantly,  if you haven’t already, sit down with your children and share your beliefs with them.  If you want your children to be obedient and respect your rules, it will become easier  for them if they know the how and the why behind them.  Like it or not, the how and the why usually comes from your heart and that spiritual belief system. 

Try it!  What do you have to lose…

Mom of Pre-teen Jitters….YIKES!

Friday, June 5th, 2009

Parenting a Pre-teenTake a deep breath, find a baby picture of your pre-teen and let yourself drift back in time to when your pre-teen was a baby!  Remember all those warm, fuzzy moments that made you fall madly in love with that child.  Forget what’s happening right now…..for the moment.   

Now, close your eyes and remember yourself at that pre-teen age when everything was a crisis, right down to what outfit you would wear for the day, or who was saying what about whom and why?  Open your eyes.  How old are you now?  You made it through it.  Some of it was painful, some of it was crazy, but most of all you made it through all of it!  

So, how do you minimize the pain and hurt of the pre-teen years for your child?Stay CALM!  Whatever is happening that is disrupting a peaceful relationship with your pre-teen will work itself out one way or the other.  Your only choice?  To be calm, be a listener first and foremost and show an excessive amount of love – no matter how angry you may or may not be at them.  In fact, the more angry you are, the more important it is to show that love. 

I am NOT saying that whatever is going on might require stern punishment or major disappointment for everyone involved.  But, you ARE in control of that outcome when it comes to whether your pre-teen feels that they were loved and supported through it or not.   

AND THAT is the ONLY thing that will matter now and over time… 

Celebrate Your Family’s Distinguished Nose

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Life has been especially crazy for me over the last couple of months. My family is growing, and with that inevitably comes growing pains. Relationships grow and stretch to new heights and interesting dynamics. New members of the family are always coming in, whether that is a welcomed friend or a wonderful new life. It never ceases to amaze me the extent to which human compassion, if cultivated, has the ability to expand and grow into true love for anyone it touches. 

What a wonderful system to be a part of on this planet!  Everyone belongs to a unit of people, their family, who are biologically programed to look like, act like, and in some cases even think alike. Families are so fantastically designed to help us care for one another in a way that can never be matched by any other sports team, school club, or organization we decide to become a member of.  Differences within the family are inevitable.  But, the similarities of those within members of the same family are spectacular strengths that should be celebrated.  Everyone of us at certain times in our lives will reach for those familiar family strengths to get us through something!

So celebrate them today! Celebrate your distinguished noses, stubbornness, or incorrigible whit. Too often we spend valuable time together picking each other apart – or dissecting the one who is not there.   Even as a parent we tend to focus on the differences with endless stories of, “when I was in school….”, or “that’s not how I used to do it.”  Truth is, we are all individuals, with certain particular similarities either in character or physical likeness.   Ultimately, however, it will be your spiritual belief system that will forever bind you together as a family, or tear you apart.  Do you know what your family believes as a whole?  Morals and values.  What do yours look like and can you define them.  Let your moral fiber be what weaves all the colors of your family together like a beautiful tapestry. 

Teach your children what you believe about science, love, and religion. If done correctly, you will be amazed at how quickly they respond to and feel about the same things you do.  As human beings with similar interests, physical structures, and demeanor you are destined to face similar challenges and successes. You are the only one that can really come close to understanding – even when your child may not think so. So celebrate the wonderful unit we call a family by teaching your children about all of the wonderful things you have in common – but most important, teach them your value system.  Don’t leave it up to their friends, their school teachers, television, video games or the internet!

Plan To Make Happy Family Memories

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

Without proper planning,  family time can turn into family fight time.  If you want to make those ‘Leave it to Beaver’ kind of memories, you are going to have do some planning.  Plan a fun day just ‘out’ with your entire family doing something fun that you know everyone will enjoy, but anticipate set backs.  And, when set backs happen,  plan to stay happy, calm and unaffected.   The best offense is a good defense.  Enjoy your family!  They are what life is all about.