More than ever today, we need friends and hopeful positive feelings in our neighborhoods.  We need to stop living in fear of each other, start taking care of each other and get to know each other.  Some of my closest, most cherished friends began as misunderstood, pre-judged enemies!

It seems that summers are getting hotter and hotter and busier and busier! With everything we have to do during the year, it flies by with lightening speed! Just as we survive the holidays, anniversaries and birthdays – summer hits! Here are just a few suggestions to make your summer easier:

1. Drink plenty of water. There are so many options for fluid intake today. Water remains the number one best way to hydrate your body. It is important to teach your children to drink water – especially small children so they will grow into healthy water drinking teens and adults later. Simply drinking water makes you think clearer, helps with weight loss and keeps you hydrated.
   
2. Begin every day with an attitude of gratitude! Being thankful creates a positive atitude…..which creates happiness…..which creates positive forward motion!
   
3. Sit down and create a summer schedule for your children. If you don’t, you will spend the majority of your day being worried, frustrated and angry and your children will become resentful – all of which will create stress for you and your household.
   
4. Make a list for your children of projects you want them to accomplish during their time off. Make sure they understand what is acceptable and what is not.
   
5. Make a list of friends that will be acceptable for your children to hang out with or have over. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. No matter what happens or doesn’t happen – don’t forget to have some FAMILY FUN! It doesn’t have to cost money, you just have to be with your family .

HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!

Positive forward motion requires positive forward thinking.  Simply put, all action begins with a thought.  Therefore, if you spend all of your valuable time thinking about negative outcomes, THAT is exactly what you are going to get – a negative outcome.    I don’t mean to downplay what you might be going through at the moment.  I am suggesting, however, that you will do your best work, come up with your best game plan if you are approaching whatever situation you are in with a positive attitude!  True happiness given any situation is a choice.  It begins with your attitude. Sometimes we have to close our eyes and see things how they can be, rather than how they really are to gain enough positive energy to get through it.

TRY THIS: 

Step 1:  Take your toddler to the sink.  

Step 2:  Put a dime size dot of anti-bacterial soap in their hands.

Step 3:   Show them how to rub their hands together for several minutes before rinsing.  (One of the most overlooked critical procedures in teaching children proper hand washing is not rubbing their hands together long enough.  TRY THIS:  while they are rubbing their hands together, teach them to sing the ABC song.)

Step 4:   After rubbing their hands together the entire time they are singing the ABC’s, rinse their hands thoroughly.

With the onslaught of new flu bugs evolving into new and improved viruses, this simple hand washing procedure can save you not only money from saved Dr. visits, but save your family’s health as well!

How do you keep communication open, even during difficult times?   Remember the old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?”  These are golden words of wisdom that will save you from wounding those you love – especially when it comes to your adult children and their spouses.  Follow that up with complete acceptance and love without judgement.  When difficult things happen, refuse to get upset or become offended.   Yes, it will be difficult.  And, it will take practice and time, but it works!  It allows you to step back from any situation and evaluate it with less emotion and more objectivity.

So, today is Sunday…it doesn’t matter what religion you belong to or not.  This day is universally recognized as a ’spiritual’ relaxation day.  So no matter what day your spiritual relaxation day is, on that day, practice whatever it is you believe.  Practice it so your children can see you practicing it. More importantly,  if you haven’t already, sit down with your children and share your beliefs with them.  If you want your children to be obedient and respect your rules, it will become easier  for them if they know the how and the why behind them.  Like it or not, the how and the why usually comes from your heart and that spiritual belief system. 

Try it!  What do you have to lose…

I had a choice at that moment, ignore the situation and let the boys carry on……or, I could choose to support his mother, possibly alienate my son for a day or two, and sit down for as long as it would take to discuss the situation with him in terms of right and wrong and send him home.   I looked up across the table at my son.  He was watching my every move and listening to my every word.  I knew right then I did not have a choice.  This would be a very big family value training moment!!  I swallowed, put my arm around my son’s friend and began…

When it comes to your children’s friends, remember there are Moms at their homes wondering the same things you are and dealing with the same problems you are!  If you are brave enough to stand firm for your core values NO MATTER WHAT, soon you will have those friends trained, you will gain life long friends in their mothers as you navigate these years supporting each other and you will also have their respect.  More importantly your children will naturally begin to live those values because it is just expected…..it’s natural and a part of their everyday life because it is a part of your everyday life.

Teaching and training your children morals and values is accomplished best during the everyday, all day long little moments as you live them.  Supporting the moms and dads of your children’s friends to the extent that support enforces your values will only add to your happiness and the happiness of your children.

Now, close your eyes and remember yourself at that pre-teen age when everything was a crisis, right down to what outfit you would wear for the day, or who was saying what about whom and why?  Open your eyes.  How old are you now?  You made it through it.  Some of it was painful, some of it was crazy, but most of all you made it through all of it!  

So, how do you minimize the pain and hurt of the pre-teen years for your child?Stay CALM!  Whatever is happening that is disrupting a peaceful relationship with your pre-teen will work itself out one way or the other.  Your only choice?  To be calm, be a listener first and foremost and show an excessive amount of love – no matter how angry you may or may not be at them.  In fact, the more angry you are, the more important it is to show that love. 

I am NOT saying that whatever is going on might require stern punishment or major disappointment for everyone involved.  But, you ARE in control of that outcome when it comes to whether your pre-teen feels that they were loved and supported through it or not.   

AND THAT is the ONLY thing that will matter now and over time… 

Lucky are the children who grow up watching parents enjoy their work, because they have worked along side them.  Teaching is best done through example – especially when it comes to learning to work.